Those who know me well know I dance through life with a Living Soundtrack always playing about my mind. It has always been so and will remain as such until I dance off this page and onto another less visible one. This is one simple truth in which I find eternal comfort.
What fewer people realize is a Soundtrack also exists to play on the day of my nonsensical final farewell. I smile at this thought knowing most will not understand my whimsy, but those who have danced most closely with my bohemian nature will find a smile in every perplexingly beautiful tune. Each melody or lyrical flow will express something meaningfully deep as well as part of the world I share with so very few. Thus, most likely the greatest gift I could leave for those I cherish most. For even as I sit typing this out, I know of only two people walking the earth who may claim to know me as a whole and not a part. Yet even those dear souls are missing pieces and both live thousands of miles from my embrace. Which sets me to wondering... will I ever let anyone in completely?
It may seem otherwise, but, my intense privacy is not intentional rather a need for self-preservation. After all, absolute vulnerability is an Achilles Heel which needs constant guarding. Anyone who has truly been broken will understand this reality.
Despite that truth, I know regret will never reside within my heart nor will magic ever cease to exist in all things I experience. My soul fire won't be extinguished so easily. Therefore, the melodies with which I fall head over foot will always exert the intense energy and passion with which I live life daily. And so perhaps I haven't failed completely.
My love of music is my very core. My grounding, of sorts. It carries my entire being to a place of safe expression without the dreary exhaustion of verbalization. I find this incredibly sexy for although I adore conversation, sometimes the chatter becomes too overwhelmingly confused. Music untangles the web...
Like now. So, perchance, Just Listen to one of my Personal Sountrack Favourites and in doing so gain a small piece of the me you may not already know. Consider it an early gift for being here. After all, if you are, you most likely know me better than most... and for that, I Thank You:)
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“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”
~Jack Kerouac~